Manusia merancang namun peraancangan Allah yang terbaik (Al Imran 3:54)
Assalamuaikum blog readers. Here we go on this chinese new year break. Alhamdulilah ada jugak masa nak update blog tersayang ni kan. Hmm the year of 2015? Alhamdulilah I started with a big smile, with a huge mission, with trillion efforts to achieve my  thousands dreams . Ya rabb, please ease my journey on this awesome year. I’ve turned 19 and sikit lagi kot boleh lah nak kawin. Ceh bajet gila nak kawin ahahahhaha lulz merah lulz. Panjang lagi kot hayat dirimu ini, karier yang dipilih bukan lah sesenang yang difikirkan. A way to heaven , in sha allah. Challenges faced during foundation year barulah seciput out of tak tahu lah nak cakap..as if baru 2% dari 100% yang bakal ditempuhi in degree level nanti.
Ya Allah dikala aku diuji dengan seribu cabaran, aku memohon diberi ketabahan semaksimum mungkin, diberi seribu satu daya untuk melawan kata kata syaitanurajim yang sentiasa berbisik secara sengaja dan tidak sengaja. Ya Rabb, I realize how small I am this entire huge world. Engkau Maha Adil Ya Allah. Ye aku tahu, engkau Si Pemberi Rezeki dan engkau juga Si Pemberi NIkmat sejak azali kepada hamba hambamu ini. The heart keep on saying that im not strong enough to face this, I once fall the moment I received this message aka ‘this khabar berita’. That moment when I feel that I failed to be a good sister for my only big bro. that moment when I feel that im losing my other half. That moment which I hope I could go back to my past years. That moment when I hope to hug him and stand by him in the hospital. That moment when I know my mum was in tears and I just didn’t want to see that nor to feel it. Okay ** I just couldn’t write more as this tiny clear sprinkle is flowing all around my face right now. Ya allah please give me the strength. 
Sayang, Im sorry for not being near you the moment that you knew you’re diagnosed with _____. Its hard for me to accept this fate but who am I to deny the this fate. I know you’re strong, strong enough to grow up be a good son of abah and mama. I know you’re struggling in this entire life with the disease you’re diagnosed with. You’re too young for all of this, too young to enjoy this world with you being sick. But bear in mind, Allah takkan uji hambanya melainkan hambanya itu mampu menanggungnya. Go on with your life big brother, and I will always pray for you. WILL ALWAYS until the last day im on this earth, in sha allah. Abang, make abah and mama proud of you. Kalau lah kakak diberi pilihan, kakak sanggup nak tanggung derita abang tu tapi Allah nak uji abang. Kakak lagi tak sanggup nak tengok abang tanggung sorang2 tapi abang kena kuat. Its part of your life, you’re just 14. See, panjang lagi perjalanan hidup yang penuh pancaroba ini. Promise me, sentiasa ingat Allah and doa so that abang boleh hidup macam manusia lain semula in sha allah. Nanti kakak besar, i will be your doctor and mama’s okay? Don’t worry cause I love you too much and there’s no word to describe kakak’s feeling right now.
Lots of love, kakak.